Ho! And what a witty title indeed! After reading I Don't Wear Skinny Jeans' Diary of a Writing Competition, I thought it might be a good way to share my own experience with the write on competition to the law reviews at UB. I had been planning on writing this one for a while now, but never really had the motivation. Please note that all credit for this style really does go to IDWSJ. Additionally, the writing there is 1) much more regular than here and 2) much more funny than here.
Sometime in the first week of May: I finish my last exam, and begin binge drinking.
A few days later: I wake up, sit at my computer, and do nothing for two days. I move from my chair once or twice per day to open the door for the Chinese delivery.
Monday, May 10: I begin my internship. It is awesome, to say the least. More on that later though.
Tuesday, May 11: The internship continues. I tell My Judge that my weekend plans involve working on the compeition packet for the write on.
Wednesday, May 12-Sunday, May 16: The competition packet is released, but somehow my college buddy convinces me this would be the best time for him to visit. I agree. Drinking, eating, and Wii ensue.
Monday, May 17: My Judge asks me how the write on is going. I mumble something about reading the topic case when I get home that evening. Instead, when I get home I play Portal for three hours.
Tuesday, May 18: I spend my lunch break walking to the Barnes and Noble in an attempt to purchase a bluebook. They are sold out. So is the law school bookstore, and the University of Maryland bookstore.
Wednesday, May 19: I read the topic case and order all the cited cases printed at the library. I check FAQs for Portal, but they make no reference to Fourth Amendment rights or DNA search and seizure. Oh well, it was worth checking.
Thursday, May 20: I go to school and pick up the cited cases, check all the Baltimore area bookstores, still cannot find a bluebook.
Friday, May 21: I spend 9 hours in the library struggling through the case note. After I get home, I call one of my buddies. His intentions had always been skip moot court, but get onto law review. He explains that he worked on it the past two weeks, but has "been drinking for a couple days" and thinks he isn't going to finish it.
Saturday, May 22: I go back to the library for a solid 7 hour session. I also discover one copy of the bluebook, marked up 10% from the normal price. I buy it anyways. On the way home, same law school buddy calls. We both discuss saying "F%*^ It!" to this whole thing and resuming drinking. Somewhere during the commiseration, I recount how many hours I have already invested into this whole thing. He reports similar numbers. We both agree that after all this time, the only logical step is to finish.
Saturday, May 22, 11:00PM: I count my endnotes: Needed: About 50. Current: 45. Number Bluebooked: 0
Sunday, May 23, 12:01AM: I have a solid 10 pages written, and begin seriously working on endnotes. Brew pot of coffee. Law School Buddy calls, absolutely jubiliant. He has just changed his font to "Courier New" as per guidelines, and discovered that what he thought was only 6 pages is actually 12.
Sunday, May 23, 12:02AM: I decide to take a nap while the coffee finishes.
Sunday, May 23, 2:14AM: I wake up, curse myself for sleeping too long, and begin drinking cold coffee.
Sunday, May 23, 6:00AM: My endnotes are formatted mostly correctly, so I decide it is time for another nap.
Sunday, May 23, 7:30AM: Alarm clock goes off. Snooze.
Sunday, May 23, 8:10AM: I decide it is now or never, do or die. I begin fixing my endotes.
Sunday, May 23, 3:00PM: The packets are due at 6:00PM. Knowing this, I save my final work, and head out for printing. What happens next could not be imagined. Seriously, my little printing excursion makes "The Office" seem like a reasonable place of buisness. I also discover where the maxim, "If you want it done right, do it yourself" comes from. I also discover just how little effort minimum wage gets you. But this post is already too long. Check back next time for the stunning conclusion.
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